the week from hell and hell only...

as in the last blog i was stuck with a sick husband who, yes, got me sick. it only took him 12 hours for this to happen. a new worlds record for him since he normally takes his sweet ass time for ANYTHING. which reminds me, he went into the bedroom because he has a headache and he normally does not do that one. hang on folks, i need to check if he is dead or not. brb. 
i'm back and no he is not dead. however he is asleep and breathing which means he will be awake very early and will wake me up. G-D DAMN IT!!!!!!!!
this is part of my week from hell. after he got me sick, my beloved laptop got sick too. i have no idea what happen, how it happen or if i did it. all i know is that i could not connect to the internet no matter what i did. at that time i was still using dial up and was pretty pissed with AOL. they told me it was a modem problem and to call dell. dell said it was not a modem problem and call AOL. aol said it was their fault and service would be back in 24 hrs. 
let me tell you, having all this happen on a saturday of all days especially when i am already sick with a cold and can't breathe to save my life is not good. all i could think of was trying to get through the next 24 hrs and i would have some kind of service. also all i could think of was new ways to kill my husband for getting me sick. not to mention the jackass was going around saying, "but i feel better!!" sure you feel better you asshole, you gave me your sicko germs!!! 
yes catching his cold is still a sore point with me and always will be. it now goes on the list of things he will never be forgiven for. especially since at this point i had a week to get well because i had my cousin's wedding the following weekend. 
well after 24 hrs i tried to log on again. and again no luck. both dell and AOL swearing up and down it was the other's fault. i screamed at dell that their warranty i purchased during the "great laptop crash of 2011" sucked, i screamed at aol that they were nothing but garbage and i screamed at my husband because he was there and i can. 
come monday morning i decided that was it i was biting the bullet and getting someone to install some kind of internet. a little google and i found someone. funny thing it was the same company my old neighbors across the street were using until they forgot to pay the bill and got cut off. i used to scam off their router many times. so i knew this company could hook me up. hook me up they did with a sweet deal. since i had no loyality to my phone service i dumped them on the spot and bundled up with some high speed internet for the same price as i was paying for a phone. i figured if i am dumping them, f**k if i am paying them this month for next month. time was arranged and we were in business. 
i wish i could say the rest of the week followed as well but we are talking about me here and that never would happen. maybe in a fairy tale. 
at this point i was still on my quest to breathe. not to mention my quest in returning a pair of shoes for something i liked better. well since breathing came first, i hit walgreens. almost literally since i sneezed as i was pulling into a parking spot. trust me, they would have and always deserve it. so i make my way to the cold section only to find out that sudefed is now kept under lock and key. really??!! are you serious?!! yes! i go up to the counter (after waiting 15 minutes in line) and i ask for a box. i figured she would hand it over, i pay and that would be it. no. i have to show my id. why? well it seems that sudefed is the main ingredient in crystal meth. who knew? the girl tells me i have to sign something saying that this is being used for the intended purpose and will not hold walgreens responsible in any way. 
seriously? do i look like i was in any condition to make crystal meth? all i wanted was to breathe again. and let's be honest here, cooking crystal meth falls into any kind of cooking in my book and cooking anything is never on my list of things to do. EVER!! so i think we were all pretty safe on that one. 
anyway at this point the stress was building in the house. i was sick, i have no internet, my computer was not working, my husband was driving me nuts and now he is stressing because i am sick and have no computer and i am  rushing around making sure everything is getting done to attend my cousin's wedding in now 5 days. 
things were going ok until we hit wednesday when my husband had to get his haircut and mow his parents lawn. (lawn is another story here for a later date)
this was scheduled to happen after work but when daddy calls he runs. mostly because he wanted to discuss our upcoming vacation with them. so after a little juggling he goes at noon for a haircut, i go and pick up the wedding gift, a card, some nail polish for my toes and off the the rents. all that got discussed was mowing the lawn. 
oh well maybe next time. right now my goal is to get home, give myself a pedi and dye my hair. i get that all done and fall into an exhausted and not restful sleep. the husband is on a toss and turn binge and can't sleep so i suffer for it. this had been going on for over a week and was not fun. i am not nice when i do not get my sleep. so come thursday i am not good. 
oh i am getting a little a head of myself here. since i could not get my laptop to work and i had scheduled the internet guy for thursday, i needed a back up plan. so i did what anyone else would do in a hurry, i bought a new laptop. well, it was more like a mini notebook with windows 7 starter that did nothing for me and since i could not make lucky my background pic i was really pissed. plus i paid for over night shipping to make sure it was there before thursday. needless to say when i opened the box i was not happy. not to mention the damn thing was so small i could not read a fucking thing. 
so let's add that to my stress level, shall we? i was scheduled for the last appointment of the day so at 2pm i get this call saying he was on the way. what?!?!?! no that wasn't going to work. i, like a dumbass who has been on sudefed way too long, told my husband about this. his solution, well let's leave work. ahhh no we are not leaving. this was not was promised to me. after a lot of fast talking, i got the guy to show at 4:15. so he drills holes into my house and we try to hook my laptop up. no dice. meanwhile, i have a husband who wants dinner, a dog who wants dinner and to say hello to her new friend and a laptop that i am told has no dirvers which is why it will not connect. that was good news since now i knew why it crapped in the first place. so we use the small stupid not staying with me for long notebook and presto i have internet for the first time. 
this should have been a happy moment but no. i have to run back to walgreens when this was done to pick up hubby's other meds because he is getting sick again. 
granted i did not want to go but seeing an hour of peace and quite was worth it. 
i go, come home and of course we fight. seriously about nothing really. just a weeks worth of stress came bubbling up and out. to keep from really killing him this time, i opted out of fighting and just sat by myself until bed time. now you would think 2 people who were exhausted and under some knock out drugs would sleep, right? nope. toss, turn, bounce and have some kind of nightmare was on his agenda. no sleep for you!!!!!!
so i am one hell of a crab on friday plus i still have things to do before the day is out. like double check with the internet company about the following thursday's phone installation, mani, bank, cancel aol and tell them what a piece of shit they are and grocery shop. 
i made the decision that i would not worry about my laptop until after the wedding. so friday night i did nothing. it was good. 
we went to alissa's wedding and it was beautiful. my killer looking shoes did not kill me!!! 
sunday i got dell to wipe my laptop and i am now in working order again then i fought with dell to return the other one, i won and life as i know it is getting back to some kind of peaceful moments. well until my husband wakes up at midnight and realized he can't go back to sleep. that might turn into the "i killed him, finally" blog. 
the best news i did get was that one of my best friends graduated nursing school and is now an official RN!! way to go!!!! she worked long and hard for it and i couldn't be happier or any prouder!!!!! she is going to make an amazing nurse and probably change her number after me texting her so many medical questions. LOL
until next time....

babies... and i do not mean the cute and cuddly kind.

well it's thursday night and for the last few hours i have been listening to a baby. i wish i could say it was the cute and cuddly kind but it's not. i am listening to a 35 1/2 year old grown man kevetch. for all you goys out there, that means bitch. 


i know from experience that when men are sick they are complete and utter babies. I did have a father and 2 grandfathers so i have witnessed this. my husband is no different and he takes this to a whole new level. he wants someone to make it all better, he wants to bitch about what ails him, he wants sympathy and he wants someone to wait on him hand and foot. 
now if this was the 1950's and stepford wives still were in style, sure i would do it in a heartbeat. this is the 21st century. 2011 for pete's sake!!!! i do not do this. waiting on him hand and foot was never programed into my dna. my mother never waited on my dad like that. where this sick person gets this idea is beyond me. wait.. i take that back, i do know where he gets this idea, from his mother who is the product of the 1950's and still waits on her husband. 
let me do a little back track here for all you readers. i am jewish. i grew up in a whole different world. the women in my family did not wait on anything, unless it was a sale at marshall field's. some of us cooked, some of us didn't (guess which i fall into), some worked, managed the kids and the house at the same time and when we got sick, we got up and did the same thing we did the day before. 


ok i maybe getting a little off subject here so i will try to stay on track. where was i going with this story? oh yeah, my husband is sick. 
why do all men turn into children when they are sick? i don't understand. i am not trying to be mean but you have to admit it is true. it's not like they have never been sick before like a newborn or a 2 year old who has not experienced being sick. real babies i can understand, they can't talk and tell you what is going on. this one can't shut up about it. he is "congested, chest hurts, head hurts, throat hurts, maybe it's allergies, maybe it's a bad cold, is it hot in here, is it cold in here, am i cold, am i hot, i can't breath out of my nose, i can only breath from one side, why am i suddenly congested again, when will this go away, when will i feel better......" these are the complaints i have heard since we got home. 
i normally can handle sick people. i too have been one but i can' deal with this. to go along with the lithenary list of complaints i get the noises. the hacking, gagging, the drama breath, the drama cough... the drama of someone who THINKS they are dying but much to my dismay not dying. yes i am being harsh, again, but if you were sitting here you would do the same thing and you all know it. 
this is unreal. when i finally had enough and needed an idea what to do, i texted on of my best friends for advise. she is a nurse, or should i say will be a full fledged nurse with in the next few days. she graduates from school. i told her what was happening and she had said it sounded like bronchitis. the husband does suffer from it. she thought it would be best to see the doctor and lay off the smoking in the meantime. no smoking comments, please. i asked ace if he wanted me to call the doctor and he said yes and to make an appointment for next week. next week? are you freaking serious??? i am not going to wait until next week and spend the weekend listening to all of this. 4 hours is enough! so i said if you are that sick, we are going to the doctor. so i called half expecting the emergency service, however luck was on my side and they have an opening for tomorrow afternoon. 
much to my surprise he agreed to go. i am seriously thinking of making this a 2 for 1 deal because i am afraid that i too will catch what ever he has. of course will i get any sympathy? ahhhh nooooo!!! instead it will be a pissing match of who is sicker. if that happens. pray for me folks that this ends and soon. 
tune in tomorrow to see if the doc agrees with the nurse, who in my book is always right!