november 26th, 2009 was to be a day of thanks. instead it was the day from hell.
the day did not start off well. i awoke from a few hours sleep, due to ace's sleepwalking/slash eating moment, and in a cranky mood. for those who know me, a few hours sleep makes for an unhappy me. i got up and walked into the kitchen and ace and i promptly started to fight.
i will spare the words used but will go to the end result at the time was, "fine don't come with me to my folks!". this was from ace.
at the time i was thrilled and thought about what a nice evening alone i was going to have. i spent the morning drinking coffee and reading a book. a few hours later, after ace's shower, he asked me if i was going to get ready. i asked for what and he had asked if i was going with him to dinner. i will not deny i thought about saying no but when his next statement was "you want me to go with you to your family." i said i would go.
we get to his parents house at 3:30pm. we figure that if we get there early that dinner would follow in an hour and we could make an early escape. you know what they say about the best laid plans.....
everyone has arrived, sister in law, friend of family, kids, cousin, cousin's friend and aunt. of course out of boredom i start facebooking it up on my phone providing amusing status and updates to my gang. of course this brings up the "who are you texting?" from my father in law. i ignore it and keep going while keeping up with the conversation. i looked at my watch and notice the time, it's getting close to 5pm and i am starting to wonder about dinner. i hear my mother in law start the mixer for the mash potatoes and say something about finishing the veggie and sweet potatoes. now i am getting scared. why is she waiting until now and what the hell was this woman doing???
now let me explain why i am getting upset. i have chrons and during the week i keep a very strict schedule. finish eating by 6pm, meds by 730pm and bedtime by 9pm. weird i know but it keeps me alive and from having an attack the next morning.
the next words we hear from the kitchen are from my father in law yelling " the bird is not done. it will be at least another half hour." what?? is he kidding?? ok now i am getting pissed. so i text ace asking him what is going on, i need to eat or forget it and say something.
he texts back ok he will. yes this is something i could have whispered since he was next to me and with big ears around this was better. ace then yells out to his dad that i need to eat by 6 or i can not eat. that brings the mother in law in screaming "what? why? i was not told this?" for the record, she did know. she has always know. i have had chrons for 3 years so don't give me the innocent party routine.
i can tell she feels bad but hey so do i!! i am hungry and have not eaten all day!! well then she offers me everything she knows i can't eat and do not like. for example, cranberry sauce, mashed and sweet potatoes, green veggies and the kicked green jello. i look at her nicely and say thank you but i am fine and not to worry. i just can not eat stuff i do not like. sorry.
ace then texts me saying we should leave and go to omega. not a bad idea, right??
at this point we here it's ready. now to most that would mean go to the table, correct?
no that just means bird is done, still needs to cut the stupid thing, put everything in a bowl and to the table. that is another production alone.
it is now 623pm and we finally sit down for dinner. they say grace ( jewish here, so i just sit politely) and we begin the 'pass it around". this is also a production because the kids are screaming they want this or that, father in law is screaming for something, it's just a mess.
mother in law finally gets to sit down and looks at me and says, "isn't there anything you can eat? i was not told this. why can't you eat?" ok, we covered this an hour ago and she asked again. i was going to say something very sarcastic but the leg kicking my left leg under the table prevented that one. instead i was nice and went through the song and dance one more time.
whether or not she understood, i have no idea and at this point do not really care. i just want to eat a little stuffing and finish this meal. this whole eating thing takes all of 20 minutes and we are done. for all the time spent waiting, this is it???
now it's time to clean up the mess. the inlaws and the aunt start with the dishes while the rest of us go back to the living room and wait for desert. the texting war between me, ace and his sister continue and let's not forget i still feel the need to facebook it up.
i text ace and ask him how soon. he texts back as soon as he finishes his coffee. cool, wonderful, awesome!!! in the middle of the war mother in law dear comes in and asks again if i want food. she still does not get it. so ace pipes up we will take some home. this does not go over well with me. i have seen how this "let's pack left over" thing works. another production. decide how much, decide what to put it in, decide who gets what, then look for the containers, then find something to put the containers in..... it's an endless battle.
i was surprised when she comes back into the room in a few minutes with a full bag ready to go.
it's now close to 730 and we have been waiting for desert we are not planning on having for almost an hour now. ace decides it's time to go. yippeee!!!!! home, here i come!!!
we get up and get our coats when ace looks at me and says that i should take my meds now and not wait. ok, good idea. well i do my normal routine and there is one pill i take out that you don't want your inlaws to know about nor do you bring into a catholic household.
i will spare you the what. i am sure you probably guessed and you are correct. i have the pill in my hand and it's heading towards my mouth when i hear the words with the horror attached, " what is that and why is it in my house?". you think i just brought a grenade in or something they way she freaked out. all i hear are the words, i never stopped to think what i am taking nor did i realize she was right behind me. before i could say something, ace pops up with a doozy of a comment. " mom if she doesn't take it, she could die.".
well, not really, but it was good and i was proud. ace doesn't say much, nor does he say things like that to his mom but when he does things like this, it reminds me why i love him.
so i carry on and take out bottles that i don't need and the next comments is, "that's a lot of medicine. do you really need to take all that?". duh, lady yes i do. i look at her, zipped the magic pill bag and say, " keeps me alive.". rude maybe but she had it coming to her.
the then final act. the one that you know is coming but never think it would actually happen.
the moment when you know you just got blamed for everything and had nothing to do with it.
my father in law walks into the kitchen and asked my mother in law if she got pictures. guess she was to take pictures. that prompted the response, " no i didn't. i was too rushed to get dinner on the table."
on that note, the escape was made and we left.
i waited until we were in the car and away from the house when i looked at ace and said, "i know this was not your fault. i do not blame you. but now i hope you can understand why i can not stand a production of things and why going to my family's house is easier. jews cook and we cook for days (ok not me since i don't and won't). food is ready and warning up when you get there. you wait maybe a half hour tops. desert is right away. no waiting."
i finally got the response i was waiting for from him. " honey you are right."
finally a happy thanksgiving.
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