the jew and the catholic

i am sure about now you are dying to know how ace and i ever got together. if you're not, humor me and pretend you do. thanks.

as i have said before life is not a fairy tale. you do not meet someone, fall madly in love and live happily ever after. i have dated a lot of guys and had a lot of blind dates. none of which ever worked out in my favor. i had gotten to the point that is was better to be alone or just date once in a while then get your heart broken time after time. i would watch my girlfriends go out and practically start planning a wedding before the check was paid. and of course by the time the check was paid it was practically over for them. so why would i want to keep subjecting myself to that? i didn't. i would do a dinner or lunch and leave it at that. sometimes i would see the guy for a few weeks and end it before i got hurt.
you the know the old saying when you least expect it, expect it.

february 14Th 2003 i met ace. we were both working in the mall, he the restaurant and me one of the stores. i went into the restaurant to have a break and saw him standing there. no it was not love at first sight. more like mutual sarcasm. i was in a bad mood to begin with because it had been a hellish day watching people buy valentine gifts, and my boss was being a raving bitch. i went in and sat there waiting for a few minutes for him to ask if i wanted anything. finally i looked at him and said "hey spiky, can i get a glass of water or do i need to go behind the bar and get it myself?"
you could see the surprise in his eyes that someone said that to him and i guess it pissed him off because the response i got back was "get off your ass and get it yourself". had i wanted something more than water his tip would have gone down the drain with that remark.
so i proceeded to get off my ass and get a drink. seeing this shocked him, i guess he really didn't think i would do it. so with that he went and got me a glass of water.
still in a bad mood and made worse by ace, i proceeded to at least drum up some business so my raving bitch boss would get off my case for the rest of the night. i started to talk to him and ask questions. for those who know me, i do make friends well and being in customer service for a long time, i know when and how to strike up a conversation.
i asked if he had a girlfriend. talk about an ice breaker! ace looked shocked and was speechless for a moment. i don't think he was expecting that question. he looked at me and asked "what do you consider a girlfriend?"
now i am speechless. what in the hell did he think i meant? so i said "are you dating anyone?'
he looked at me and said kind of. ok now i am thinking what is kind of. you are or your not.
here is how this went:
me: " it's valentine's day. do you have a girlfriend that you need a gift for?"
him: " well, i have only been back here for a month and met this girl, we're not serious or anything and i have only gone out with her a couple times."
me: "then you don't have a girlfriend. you have dates."
him: "why do you want to know?"
me: "well if you were dating someone special then i would recommend a gift for her. but if it's not serious then i would just say get a nice card and maybe candy."
him: "why do you even care?"
me: " i need this business and i don't see you getting a diamond or something for someone you hardly know."
him: "well i am kind of in a transition period. i was living with this girl in peoria but we broke up and i just moved back home. so this isn't anything big, just someone to hang out with."
me: " that's nice. well since you're not buying, i need to get back. so see ya around."

and with that i walked out. for the next month i would go in and out of the bar during my breaks and would see ace. we would chat and flirt a bit but i never thought anything past that. well one day in march i was being hounded that our store need more credit apps. since i had pretty much tapped everyone in the mall, i figured, i need a smoke and ace was there, so perfect fresh meat.
i walk in and told him to fill this out. he was in the middle of the lunch rush and said he didn't have time. i told him to give me his driver's license and i would fill it out. when i was done i gave him his license and said sign this. he had no idea what i was doing so he actually read the app. he looked at me and said " i have no credit. this won't get approved."
i told him i could care less, that all i need was the stupid thing filled out and by the way i needed a phone number. he supplied the information and while i was walking out he yelled " sneaky way to get my phone number!" i yelled back "don't worry, i promise never to use it."

the weekend before st. patty's day, i stopped in the bar after work with a friend and had drinks and dinner. ace was working the dining room but stopped by the bar to say hi. we chatted a bit and then he asked me if i wanted to go out that night. i did not take this seriously. i mean who would? so we paid the check and left.
monday, st. patty's day, he was working the bar and i walked in and he asked what happen saturday night. why did i leave? i explained i did not think he was serious so i left. turns out he was and asked if i wanted to go out for st. patty's day. i said maybe, let's see what happens after we get off work. i figured that would give me time to think of an excuse to get out of it. well 9pm rolls around and he meets me outside to make plans. i said i would go for a drink but that's it. i had to work the next day. he said ok but then i would have to drop him off at home. i asked where home is. he tells me clarendon hills. thinking that is a far distance i said how about some other time. he was ok with that and asked about tomorrow night instead. i said that would be better since i was off on wednesday.

now it's the next night and we end up at his favorite bar and it karaoke night. we sit, order and start to get to know each other. i find out he is only 27 ( to my 34, little cradle robbing here), was once engaged but a few weeks before the wedding (his parents hated the girl and did not support this one) he finds her with his best man, lived with a weirdo he met on line in peoria, just moved back home with his parents, traveled with some band called phish ( like a deadhead or something), been in the navy, has a college degree in art history (not much you can do with that one but hey, better than nothing), and can sing!!! who knew???
what surprised me was how much he had done is such a short span of time. and yes, i did check all this out and it was all true. go figure. anyway, we sat, talked, i listen to him sing, and finally i said i had to go. apparently he had a different plan. he wanted to come home with me and finish "talking". now i am not let's do it on the first date girl. this was not my intention here. but for some reason he was very insistent and i agreed. i also had to get up in the morning to drive him back since he was opening the next morning.
we get back to my place and continued talking. yes really talking. finally i said if i didn't get some sleep soon, he would have to find another way home. so i stuck him on the couch and said, "if you move any part of your body off this couch for any reason and i mean any reason, or come near my room, i will kill you and bury you in the back yard. and i seriously doubt that anyone would miss you, let alone look for you."
the fear was now installed. it did work, he never moved an inch.
from the on he was always there. no matter what i did, he stuck. right now as of this writing i would like to unstick that glue and dump his worthless ass. i would delete that statement but i don't want to. i am happy i started this, cause at least i can vent and maybe someone can help me out there.
anyway, this is how we ended up together. one date and together since. and yeah there are days, like this one that i wish i never met him let alone married him.
maybe i will tell you about it one day. but this proves the real world does suck.

just a small town girl.....

ok i am not really a small town girl. i lived in chicago until i was 8 and then the burbs until i move out here in, as i like to say, hicksville. i really am more of a north shore brat. or maybe just a fan of the 'burbs. in any case, i am sure you are sitting wondering, "if she hates it out there why did she move?"
good question and one i ask my self every second of every day. i chalked it up to being young, dumb, stupid. ace chalks it up to getting married in a few months, lease up on our apartment 3 days after we got married and we had to hurry and find a place to live. ok so his excuse is a bit lame but it does get him through the long 50 mile to work drive (one way by the way).
we did not really plan of living in a small town 50 miles from work, 55 from his family and almost 80 to mine. well, you know what they say the best plans goes haywire.
this started with pouring through the paper and a stupid realtor. we wanted a place near
where we were at but due to the fact taxes were high and we had a budget to stick too, that was becoming the impossible dream. personally i really had a vision of what kind of house i wanted but there was nothing our price range for the vision.
once day ace was working a saturday and one of our co-workers was cruising the Internet looking for a house for her and her fiance. yes, i know dunning work don't do that blah blah etc. anyways they both saw what looked like a nice house with most of what we were looking for. note to self here, do not believe a picture.
well he comes home with a print out and says we should look at it. so i call the realtor and we make plans to see it the next day.
we get up go do the 50 mile schelp to sandwich. yes there is a small in illinois called sandwich. at the time the drive seemed ok and we find the realtor and set off to look at the house in question. as we are driving i see all these houses that look like crap outside. and i sit here and think "no way is my family ever coming". we are talking small town and ugly as hell.
we see this house and first thing i see is a mouse, no closet space and the main bathroom is upstairs in the bedroom. smack dap in the middle of the bedroom. and the kicker the 1/2 bath mentioned, well that consisted of toilet with no doors right in the middle of the dinning/laundry room. no joke. veto right then and there.
for the next few weeks we look, we schelp into sandwich and all i see is a bunch of crap houses that are ugly, no closets (which, how you you people live with out one?), no anything that would make me happy. finally it is now a month and half before the wedding and time is something we have none of so a decision needs to be made. on this last weekend we go see two prospects. the first one was a big as my walk in closet. so no can do here. one down, one to go. we drive up towards house #2 and i am falling in love. at least what i thought we were here to see. color my stupid, not even close. we were here to see the house next door.
i was in shock and not happy but going inside was a different matter. which teaches, do not judge the book by the cove. the inside was nice. cleaner and better than anything else i saw. ok the kitchen has no dishwasher, and the bedroom closet will not hold all my shoes and clothes, but it was clean and decorated to what i liked. so we make the offer and get the house.
the house had problems that were not mentioned until after the papers were signed.
for example, nobody said the basement floods, there is a well that would need to be primed when the power goes out, new plumbing,(where? their new house), the well primer thing is older than dirt, and the kicker no a/c. or heat vents upstairs. i know next question is "were was the building inspector?" he was there, and he did inspect. who know that he was a fraud inspector! we were not there when he came and left it to our wonderful real state agent.
yeah dumb ass mistake there. not to mention that part of our property was sold the the guys next door to build the house (house i should have had) next door.
we find this all out 2 weeks after we finished signing and started to move our crap in.
now let's keep in mind i am doing this before the wedding. 3 weeks to be exact and at this point i am not a bridezilla, i am a fucking lunatic who is trying to pack up an apartment, keep tabs on wedding details, pack for a honeymoon, arrange for the truck the day we get home from our honeymoon, make sure someone is taking care of lucky, holding my tongue not to kill my future mother in law who wants some stupid thing at the chruch, going through hoops so we can get married in the chruch for his family, keeping my family from having a meltdown with that one, and still go to work and be nice to customers. oh and let's not forget my future x cousin in law deciding to have a massive coronary and dying 2 days before my bridal shower. yes i know that is mean, but that's another story for you to read.
after all this, it is no wonder i was getting sick.
like i tell people this all seemed like a good idea at the time. we were so busy looking for a house we could afford and worry about the wedding that we never looked at the town, took stock where the major stores i need in life are, or that the winters here could kill a person.
i never had a house, i had apartments were people fix things for you and they worried about the garbage, the heat and water.
one month into this house and we realized this was not good. i have to drive 10 miles for walgreens, 15 to wall mart and a million for anything else. the roads are not plowed right away so driving in the winter you are taking your life in your hands. nobody ever wants to visit ( i know i do not like people in my house but still....) and since we drive 50 miles one way to work, i don't want to drive and see anyone.
so i spend my days with ace and lucky and with my best friend the laptop. i do miss the burbs. i miss having a mall 5 minutes from me, i miss the bagel store, and i miss an all night walgreens with 24 hour pharmacy service.
then the kicker, we get sued for back taxes on a house we did not live in for land that was sold off and never accounted for. great huh? we could have also counter sued the previous owners for the false inspection report on the plumping, which costs $8,000 to to redo when the main pipe that is older than this town blew, but due to ace's big heart he just couldn't do it. so the mortgage company pays the taxes since they did not do their research, and instead of being on easy street we spent our savings on new plumbing.
i know you are now asking did i get estimates for this and why so much? yes i got 7 of them and the entire plumbing on the house was never up to code. each plumber said the same thing, but scott was the lowest bid and the quickest. little plug here: O'Neil plumbing in Plano.
they rock!!!! and our building/fraud inspector, doing 10 in jail and might just use him again if i ever find someone dumb, young and stupid enough to buy this place. just kidding on using him again.
so this is how i am now a small town girl, living in a lonely world and broke as a joke.

remeber this?

i am sitting here working on my blogs and catching up when i realized what was on t.v.
i looked up and saw that flashdance was on tv. i have seen that movies a million times. i know it word for word, had the soundtrack, and most of all remember when i saw it and how that night my life changed.
it was july 1982 on a summer sunday night when i walked into the theater with by friend, julie.
we were at the old orchard movie heater and it was opening weekend of the movie. i remember her mom had dropped us off and my mom was picking us up. at the time i had no idea my grandfather was being taken to the hospital while jennifer beales was acting and her body double was dancing.
we get out and we see julie's mom. i was a bit dumbfounded of why she was there and were in the heck was my own mother. julie's mom said that they had taken my grandfather to the hospital because he broke his shoulder. i really did not think anything was wrong at the time and we drove home chatting about the movie. when i got home no one was there, which i thought was a bit strange but sill unfazed i went to sleep.
the next morning my mom comes in to wake me and told me that grandpa was in the hospital, he did hurt his shoulder and kept him over night for observation. for some reason i got the feeling that mom was not telling me everything. at the time she was telling me this, my grandfather had just finished speaking to my grandmother and as he hung up the phone he had a heart attack. he was stabilized and on the way to i.c.u when he had a coronary.
this was the beginning to the end.
for the next four weeks he lived in the hospital. we were all there everyday and this is how i learned to be a professional hospital visitor. at 12 1/2 i had my role in the hospital.
we would sit with grandpa, telling him funny stories, reading all of his get well cards that poured in and praying he would come home soon. for a while it did look like he would. then one day i think he overheard my grandmother and my father's sister say that he would never practice dentistry again. i think once he heard that he lost all will to live.
my grandfather was in his 80's and still cleaning and pulling teeth. he had worked that friday before he went to the hospital. while he was there he had 2 hear attacks, 1 coronary and a stroke which left his right side of the body somewhat paralyzed. with the left shoulder broken and no function on the right, there would be no more cleaning and pulling.
it was a tuesday night. tuesday august 9th to be exact and julie had called to see if i wanted to go see flashdance with her again. i said no and just wanted to stay home. my parents were having an argument because my dad lost his car keys and no clue where they were. finally they left to the hospital. about an hour later my dad came back and was still looking for his keys. i don't know if they were found, i just remember him being upset and did not answer my question how grandpa was or where was mom. then he left again.
another hour passes and my mom and cousin jancie walked in the house. first my mom asked if dad was here and i told her what happen. she asked me if he said anything and i said no and what is going on. janice and mom told me and my sister grandpa had just died.
they told us that we were all going to my grandmother's and maybe dad would be there.
from what i was told dad was the last one in the room when grandpa took his last breath.
with that he walked out and walked home. my dad did not say a word when he came home nor did he tell my mom he was leaving.
i remember going to my grandmother's and dad was there. that's when it struck me, today was august 9th and my father's birthday was the next day.
from that time on when ever i see flashdance, i think of that night and the weeks after.
it's weird what you remember from childhood. i still remember the last time i saw my grandfather, he was in his coffin and they shaved his little moustache off. from them on seeing a relative in a coffin would forever freak me out. so a good movie has some bittersweet memories.
the first movie i saw was with my grandmother. grease with john travolta and olivia newton-john. i was about 7 or 8 and my sister was 5 when grandma took us to see it.
i know that was probably not the best movie to take a child too but in those days pg 13 did not exist. i remember the big tub of popcorn she got us to share. we had a good time that day. i remember grandma falling asleep durning the movie too.
grease is on after flashdance tonight and my childhood is running through my head.